Writing My Life

Now and Then


by 4 Comments

… “phoney” blog posts …

Just tried the new “call-in-a-post” tool offered by WP. My short-term memory loss interrupted the directions before I signed off, and so I’m not sure what will happen next. My question is whether or not the verbal entry will end up as …

A. a written post B. an audio link C. lost in space

Until the mystery is solved, here is a picture or 2 or 3 taken at Sunset Beach – south of Santa Cruz. The SUN actually SET behind many layers of clouds! It may have been cold, but it was F.U.N.

NOTE: This post AND “random Nevada thoughts” were created 100% from my G1 phone – including pix! The G1 is an older Android – old as in tech years where 12 months equals 75 human years. At least, that’s what I understand.




by 2 Comments

If you THINK it, INK it.

“Vomit and THEN clean it up.” – by Not-Sure-Who

I don’t really like the word “vomit,” but the alternatives are not much better. So when talking about getting words/stories down on paper, some writers call it “throwing up” words or “puking on paper” – POP?

I don’t mind “hurling words” or “word hurls” as there’s an element of assonance in those phrases. What do you think of “barfing up big ideas” or “upchucking info?”  Oh, and then there’s the lesser known term “ralphing” or “ralfing” – not sure of the spelling.

The point of all these sickening metaphors is the idea of purging oneself of the thoughts, ideas, details, and developments clogging inner creativity. Once all those chunks are splattered across the computer’s screen, the revisoinist’s clean-up can begin in ernest.

This is hard for me to do as I am a “clean/revise as you go” kind of writer, (not a domestic attribute, I’m afraid.) That process works for short pieces, but it can stop up the work when contemplating a novel.

So my challenge to myself is to write until I puke, hurl, or vomit – OR throw up 750 words a day, whichever comes first. (Of course I can’t pick up the gauntlet until I return from CA!)

WHO’S WITH ME?


by 2 Comments

… random thoughts along nevada’s highway …

image

A "phone"picture

Happy (?) hubby at swanky motel room! : )

G.E. & I have traveled I-80 north more times than we can count, and trust me when I say it is NOT an exciting stretch of road. Whole novels can be read, MANY life stories recited, and dozens of cat naps taken without missing a change in scenery.

As a result, the mind wanders as far and wide as the road. So I thought I’d record some of these random nuggets before I forget them.

1. Epiphany – I am a mouth breather! When did this start? Is it because I am out of shape thus out of breath? I need to overcome this subconscious bad habit.

2. I am a book junky AND a book THIEF! While searching through the dozens of books I haven’t yet read, I discovered a few that I borrowed from long-ago friends in far-away places. I decided to hunt down the victims via FaceBook and send messages of apology and volunteer to send said titles back. (I’m hoping they refuse my offer to return Chicken Soup for the Teacher’s Soul and others.)

3. I wonder if I’m expecting. Lately, my stomach has been upset unless there is food in it – just like the good old days of pregnancy. Yucky!

4. I don’t like to go away without saying good bye to loved ones. Not because I think something bad is GOING to happen but because I am going to miss them. And when I leave my California kids, I’ll miss them before we’re even out of the driveway.

5. I must be getting old. I haven’t finished the Twilight series, and I don’t care if I do I haven’t watched the New Moon DVD yet. A neighbor went with her daughters and said she was embarrassed to be seen there because it was too sensual – she must be getting old, too. (Maybe I’ll wear a burka if I go. Nah, I’ll wait for the DVD and embarrass myself in the privacy of our basement family room.)

6. I hope we can find a room in Winnemucca. I hear there’s a lot happenin’ in that town. (Omigosh! We got the last room after checking out 3 places that looked respectable. It was a smoking room, but luckily this room wears a nicotine patch, and so we won’t be asphyxiated or die of 2nd-hand smoke!)

P. S. The smokey smell crept in during the night! Grrrrrr.


by 3 Comments

… virtuous OR conniving naomi? …

We’re studying the Old Testament in Sunday School. And I have to say there are as many BAD role models in that body of scripture as there are GOOD ones. Sunday night G.E., Mom, and I were talking about O.T. adulterers – like David and Bathsheba. Then our conversation turned to incestuous relationships found in the scriptures – not exactly a great spiritual conversation for the Sabbath, but there it is.       

We also talked about our families, and that’s when I thought about the Bible, especially the Old Testament, as being a collection of family stories. Like all family stories, patriarchs and matriarchs may not have wanted all of their issues made public, but those ancient prophets had their own social networks that recorded and shared TMI. (Note to Mom: “TMI” means “too much information.” It’s texting shorthand.)        

As with today’s families, some ancient mothers, fathers, and children served as great examples at times, but failed upon other occasions. (Think of Abraham trying to pawn off his wife Sarah as his sister –  or what about Sarah’s ill-timed laugh when angels predicted her forthcoming pregnancy? And those are just mild examples.)       

Even when Biblical figures are doing their best, modern readers and critics can find fault. For example, I have long admired Naomi – mother-in-law extraordinaire. So good to her daughters-in-law Ruth and Orpah that they did not want to leave her after their young husbands died. As a widow beyond child-bearing years, Naomi had NO rights and thus NOTHING to offer the two loyal women.       

Ruth and Naomi

 

Although Orpah finally gave into Naomi’s advice and returned home to start a multi-million dollar media industry – oh, wait. Wrong story. That was OPRAH. Nevertheless, ORPAH tearfully left her mother-in-law and went her way. But Ruth not only chose to be with Naomi, she traveled with her to Judah, converted to Judaism, served Naomi and listened to her when she advised Ruth to propose to Boaz!       

Most hail Ruth for her loving loyalty and Naomi for her resourcefulness in procuring a future for her daughter-in-law and herself, along with ensuring the continuation of the royal line of David through which the Savior would be born. However, there are scholars and critics alike that view Naomi differently. While not all feminist assessments of her found in the Jewish Women’s Archive, are negative, I found these views of Naomi quite interesting. They demonstrate that everything and everybody is open to interpretation – even those with the best of intentions … or the worst.       

  • Naomi is a cipher – having no weight, worth, or influence – for male values that find fulfillment for women in marriage and children. (Grrrr. I won’t even comment on this denigrating opinion.)
  • Naomi is an overbearing, interfering, and domineering mother-in-law. (So, did she “guilt” Ruth into sticking with her?)
  • Naomi and Ruth are rivals, with Naomi eventually achieving the greater prestige. (Are feminists inferring that Naomi wanted Boaz for herself OR just access to his wealth and prestige?)
  • Naomi schemes, connives, and manipulates. (Hmmm? Is that a bad thing?)
  • Naomi is an embittered old woman who denounces God for her troubles but fails to thank the deity when she recovers. (Well, she did want to be called Mara, which means “Bitter” instead of Naomi that means “Pleasant.”)

While extolling her virtues and listing possible weaknesses, the usual consensus is that “Naomi is a profound figure of faith who experiences God as enemy but then wrestles blessing from adversity.” As such, Naomi, like many Biblical heroes and heroines, function as spiritual beings struggling through the mortal experience. Like them, each of us battle our weaknesses, sometimes winning; occasionally losing, but ultimately hoping to win the war against whatever plagues us.       

I LOVE the Old Testament stories and the New Testament hope of forgiveness, atonement, and charity as told through the life, ministry, death, and resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I hope I can only be as good as the weakest of those ancient peoples, especially the noble women whose stories are few.


by 5 Comments

Question of the hour: Why do I write?

“YOU are a WRITER when you BELIEVE that you ARE—and once PEOPLE BELIEVE they are WRITERS, they are ON THE PATH to a life-long LOVE of WRITING.”

~ Tracy Gardner               

Amy is a teacher, an aspiring writer, and a blogger – I am a teacher, an aspiring writer, and a blogger. We both attended the WIFYR Conference last week and both experienced up and down rides – the kinds that thrill and nauseate you. On her latest post, Amy posed the question often asked at the conference: Why do you write? Her post’s purpose is to solicit inspiring responses in hopes of lifting her writing spirits.               

ALL Writers Welcome

I don’t know if my reasons will inspire Amy or anyone else, but I do think every person who writes asks that question of themselves, and the answer is very important for many reasons. I remember when my cousin’s husband gave up golf after decades spent on the course. Why? Because he found no more joy in the game. I think that some individuals may put aside pen and paper if writing loses its spell over the writer. And that brings me to my reason for writing. I am spellbound by it.               

 Despite the play on words, it’s true. Writing has a hold on me; sometimes tighter than others. As a youngster, I wrote poems – terrible rhyming things that I thought were masterpieces; a few stories – just as pathetic as the poetry; and plays – usually a plagiarized creation that I recreated from Little Golden Books or The Children’s Friend.                

In my first round of college classes, I suffered through research papers and English 101 essays. I only remember one paper earning an A, and that had a minus attached to it. I wish I had kept it, but I do remember it was about dieting and one line mentioned the dread of joining 1/3 or more of the world’s population who goes to bed hungry. Not because of lack of food, but because I’d have to count calories for the rest of my life. Besides the decent grade, I recall the teacher’s comment about strong tone or style or something like that. What I think she meant was VOICE – a term not that familiar back in 1967 (at least to me). I think that little bit of encouragement kept me writing for a community newspaper, church newsletters and skits, etc. long after I dropped out of BYU.      

Writers are readers, too. From 4th grade on, I’ve been an avid reader. A competition to earn a fish for each book read motivated 9-year-old me to open one book after another in order fill up the aquarium on the bulletin board in Mrs. Jorgenson’s classroom. I quickly moved from those Golden Books to Nancy Drew to abridged classics like Heidi and Little Women to Reader’s Digest’s condensed novels like Mrs. Mike and The Egg and I. Of course, my older cousin introduced me to the sleazy books you have to hide from parents, but regardless of the genre, I LOVED all those pages plastered with familiar and UNfamiliar words that pulled me into places I enjoyed visiting – whether or not I should have been there!    

 

  

Arms akimbo

My love of words grew, and along with it, a love of writing. I meticulously searched for just the right noun to place on the third line of an original poem. I found “zephyr.” I looked for an adjective to describe meadows hidden in mountain valleys, and celebrated when I stumbled upon “verdant.” After I saw the word, “akimbo,” while reading To Kill a Mockingbird, I tucked it away until I needed it to describe a disgusted mother’s body language.               

I’m not sure when I REALLY considered myself a writer, but it wasn’t until I started writing nearly every day. Not because I HAD to but because I NEED to. My day feels incomplete unless I record something more substantial than my grocery list: ideas, reflections, descriptions, research,  experiences, etc. on one of my 3 blogs.                

But now I’m stretching myself even further because of an obscure incident that rather jarred me. Six years ago after returning to Utah from a stint in Georgia, I bumped into an acquaintance from our old neighborhood. After a few minutes of catching up, she asked if I had published my book.                

“What book?” I replied.               

“Weren’t you working on a book when you moved away?”               

I had to think. While I have thought about, daydreamed, and toyed with the “I’ll-write-a-book-someday” idea, I didn’t realize I had said TALKED about it to anyone –  especially to someone I hardly knew. I almost told her she had me mixed up with somebody else, but I stopped.               

“That’s still on my to-do list,” I said.                

And so there it is.                

Besides being captivated by words, I write because I haven’t finished my book.                

 


by 2 Comments

… exTENDuating circumstances ~ another hairy story …

Sometimes I’m gutsy. Not skydiving/bungee-cord-jumping gutsy; not face-lift/Botox/implant gutsy; not cosmetic tatoo gutsy … Hmmm. I’m revising this intro. I am NOT gutsy. Nevertheless, I did experiment with – drumroll, please – HAIR EXTENSIONS! Bet you didn’t even notice. (Only one person did – my boss/friend/colleague, Carolyn.)

In fact, I’ll wager that most will think my 3-hour adventure at the salon was a waste of time. But it was not! For a variety of reasons:

  1. It was cheap. Wonder-stylist Jessica advertised on Facebook that she would attach the REAL hair extensions for the price of the hair only. When I stopped by the fancy hair boutique, she estimated the total cost which equaled what I usually pay for a cut ‘n color!
  2. It was charitable. Charitable??? You ask. Yes! While some women grow hair and cut it to donate it to wig-makers for cancer victims, there are some who demand their extensions come from ethical sourcing. For example, the hair I purchased was sourced from Indian Temples that uses “the same traditions and standards” that have existed “for the past 100 years.”  Tonsuring is a Hindu practice, 1000s of years old, wherein people “donate their hair … as a sacrifice to the gods to … give thanks for or to ask for help. The temples … use the money from the sale of the hair to feed the poor and provide … needed resources within their communities” (~ from the Racoon International pamphlet.) Seriously. Of course, I didn’t know that, but I felt all fuzzy inside once I learned that my vanity was a good thing. (At least, I hope this is true. I’m sure I’ll soon learn of horrendous exploitation going on in the hair trade!) 
  3. It was revealing. I have not worn long hair since I was 6 or 7. Okay, I played around with the whole “fall” thing back in 1968-1970, but that was it. While I didn’t want really long hair, I did wish for a more defined A-line (long on sides, short in the back.) Because my hair grows re.a.l.ly s.l.o.w, I knew I’d lose patience before the sides ever made it past my chin. BuT then along came Jessica and her offer to extend the length of my hair; thus I could see how the style looked on me and whether or not it elongated my chubby face.

Curious about the results? Well, here is the before and after. (And yes, the “after” is my new driver’s license photo – not as lovely as my last one, I might add.)

    Unfortunately, I must EXTEND the story a bit because I did NOT like such long sides – didn’t flatter my face like I had hoped. Unfortunately, the only thing that will make my FACIAL cheeks look thinner is to shrink them via the four-letter word that starts with “d” and ends with “t.” So I went back to sweet Jess and asked her to trim the extensions, which she did.

    Silly as it may seem, I’d do it again but I won’t do it again. Make sense? I found out I’m just a short-hair girl, and I don’t even think I’ll keep this style much longer. In fact, I just might go back to the super bouffant of yesteryear. And order it in light brown. So long!


by 6 Comments

Desperately seeking VOICE

“Voice – as distinct from style – has the whole weight of a life behind it.”

~ from the front flap of The Writer’s Voice by A. Alvarez             

Cheri Pray Earl wrote the workshop goals/objectives on a small whiteboard just out of my sight. But when she read them aloud, I thought, “Oh, I know what voice in writing is. I won’t have problems ‘finding’ it. Afterall, I’ve taught that trait to my middle, high school and even teachers for years!” Within hours, my smuggy confidence evaporated, disappeared, vanished!             

Voice, as I understood it, is only a teeny-tiny piece of the puzzle. And voice is a puzzle because its definition is multi-layered. When teaching students how to include this trait into their writing, I told them that their personality should show up in their paper. I sponsor 3 blog sites (and yes, I am crazy). One is associated with my profession; the other is my personal but public journal; and this one is my self-motivating, writing warm-up.             

While my quirky personality makes appearances in all three, readers are exposed to a different version of me in each one because the voice varies. Why? Because the purpose and audience of each blog varies. My writing is more formal in one, more personal in another, and more focused in this one. Does that make sense?    

But the author’s voice can be a HUGE problem when writing fiction, especially Young Adult fiction. I don’t want the voice of a 62-year-old grandmother, mother, and teacher coming through my characters or found in the narration. What 13 to 18-year-old wants to hear that?     

Whose voice needs to come through? THE CHARACTERS. If the character is a young adult, then a teen’s voice should be heard. I did not realize how hard this would be. With a story in mind, I wrote a couple of pages from the viewpoint of a 12-year-old girl. I simplified the voicabulary vocabulary and used a fair amount of dialogue. Because the scene went back and forth in time, readers caught a tiny glimpse of the main character’s personality before and after a tragedy. But the snippets were not enough to help readers to care about her. In other words, that time shift so early in the book weakened the voice and ultimately confused my readers.         

  

Visual representation of 2 different voices!

 

By Wednesday’s workshop, I struggled to believe I would reach that objective written on the whiteboard. I’d be a WIFYR flunkie. And it didn’t help any when an editor from a major publishing house spoke to us and emphasized that the #1 characteristic she looks for in a submitted manuscript is – yup, you guessed it. V.O.I.C.E. A unique, authentic, honest vOiCe! On Wednesday, that lofty goal grew to the heights of Mt. Everest.       

Thursday’s assignment was to bring in an example of writing that represented our best _ _ _ _ _. (I’m even tired of writing it!) I couldn’t bring myself to look at the latest revision that night. So I made an executive decision to work on something else I had written because I had questions that needed answering about that little number. Questions like –  Is the dialect overpowering and distracting? (That had REALLY been bothering me. The response from C.L.W. was “NO, the dialect was not overpowering or distracting – hallelujah – but she did suggest that I rewrite the scene in first person. I can do that AND keep the dialect I hear buzzing around in my head. YaY!)       

Back to the main point. (It’s hidden in this post somewhere. Oh, here it is.) Thursday night’s assignment was to polish our best efforts so we could read them aloud in class. As of 11:00 P.M., I had no best writing. Desperate, I decided to work on a scene near the end of the story that I had shared with a couple of workshop buddies.             

As I developed the scene, the main character turned into a sassy 13-year-old with a sarcastic wit rather than the shy seventh-grader with a dry sense of humor. And just as Johnny Depp developed his Captain Jack character after picturing the Rolling Stones’ Keith Richards, I heard bits and pieces of the slightly bratty 8th-grade ME come through my character’s voice. She absolutely took over. Seriously.             

The next day, after a couple more slight revisions made just before I left the house, I read the 3 pages. While listeners were not really supposed to comment, my instructor Ms. Cheri said, “You found your young adult voice!” I couldn’t have received higher praise.              

But I was not the only one. Reading after reading revealed a heightened intensity in colleagues’ writings because most – if not all – had learned a little more about finding the voice intended audiences will enjoy, AND about allowing characters to push aside the author’s voice to expose the “weight of [characters’] lives” behind the words.              

So, Dear Reader, what have you done to find the “write” voice for your characters? Do any of you have a VoiceMuse you turn to for help? How do you shut off your own voice when that is needed? What are some novels you’ve read that exemplify good voice AND bad?              

Love to hear some responses! Have a great day and write while the sun shines!             


by Leave a comment

“No time to wallow in the mire”

“Get an idea. Write. Edit. Sigh, ‘Finally my masterpiece is finished.’ Take a week off. Look at your masterpiece. Exclaim, ‘What was I thinking? This sucks!'”

~ from Kristen’s Guide

I hope I’m feeling this total lack of confidence because I’m tired and because my little PT Cruiser, Cream Puff, is still acting out. Her condition remains undiagnosed, but something is draining her energy – ahhh, she’s just feeling sympathy pains for ME!

Anyway, because I am tired and thinking I am a better blogger than novel writer and will forever travel the blog-o-sphere versus the published authors’ circuit, I’m not going to write much tonight. I won’t mention how I continue to search for my authentic, honest voice or how I wonder if I’ve grown too old for the YA market or how I’m wondering if the workshop will send out rejection e-mails for the 1st page contest so I can add it to my little collection.

No, I won’t take the time to bore you with all that. Instead, I’ll post this gallery of pictures so you can see what good writers look like! (While I wallow in the mire of self-pity!)


by Leave a comment

“One is the loneliest number you’ll ever do.”

“The writing profession is reeking with this loneliness. All our lives we spend in discoursing with ourselves. . . .”

~ quoted by Fred Hobson in Mencken: A Life, Random House, 1994

Today was the second day of WIFYR workshop. Other than missing my exit because I was thinking of a better lead for a new story thus making me late, the day has been an improvement over the first one. Okay, I knew this going in, but writing is NO LONGER a lonely affair. I kinda wish it was because I could live in a world where I don’t know there are SO MANY aspiring authors! Nor would I know how GOOD those writers are. Nevertheless, what I am gaining from all the experts and NON-experts, I could NOT teach myself.  

Let me tell you that this workshop is organized-PLUS; thus maximizing opportunities to learn.  The day is set up like this:

  • Mornings: Work with Cheri Pray Earl and Rick Walton, two published authors and writing instructors at Brigham Young University and 20 peers who crack me up! (That’s because Cheri and Rick introduced us to SASS that first day!)
  • Afternoons:
    • Plenary Presenters – Authors, editors, agents share tips and ideas. SO helpful! (By the way, PLENARY was a new word to me. I think it is a very cool word. It means, “fully attended or constituted by all entitled to be present.”)
    • Break-out sessions – Participants choose an author, editor, or agents or a panel of these folks who address various topics, concerns, and questions. Very informative.

     

While I knew this workshop provided support for writers, I am still amazed at the amount of sharing, consulting, suggesting, listening, encouraging, inspiring, informing that takes place. A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. I know authors buddied up in days gone by, but I think that was AFTER writers published. I picture Hemingway partying in Paris with Gertrude Stein and F. Scott Fitzgerald or Carl Sandburg talking shop with Theodore Dreiser and Sherwood Anderson. But who did they brainstorm ideas with BEFORE their break? Who did they chat with when their plot lines flat-lined or their characters refused to develop? Maybe there were friends who provided what Hemingway or Fitzgerald needed over drinks, but I’m not sure that turned out in the long run.

Water was the only beverage we received at this confab. That only happened on the first day, and it was a mistake. So no potential authors need worry about ruining their lives because of booze provided by Writers and Illustrators for Young Readers Workshop. I know some were concerned when the conference moved from Brigham Young University to Salt Lake County, but don’t stress;  it’s still a dry environment.

Putting my drinking concerns aside, I found that one of the most helpful AND  scary activities is “work-shopping” participants’ writing. We read our papers while peers followed along. Next, writers listened to praise AND suggestions. It was all professional – civil even, and yet, my stomach clinched tighter and tighter as I watched my golden rod paper work its way to the top. Nervous as I was, I appreciated the feedback and think the suggestions strengthened my paper.

I was also inspired by reading the works of my fellow writers. WoW! What fine writing! Compelling and creative ideas that were fun to read. I also gleaned ideas from my colleagues’ comments to all the writers in the group. Sometimes a suggestion given to Amy or Jared applied to my work as well. I can’t tell you how beneficial this has been for me, and I want to soak up EVERY hint, idea, tip, suggestion,and critique I can. I really want to do this thing!


by 6 Comments

… the time to hesitate is through …

Ever since moving back to Utah some 6 years ago, I have wanted to attend the Writers and Illustrators for Young Readers Workshop (WIFYR). Formerly held at Brigham Young University, the conference always collided with the Secondary Literacy Institute that I had to attend because of my job. Well, this year, WIFYR was relocated to Waterford, a private school in Sandy, UT, and the Literacy Institute started a week later than it did in year’s past. All this “backstory” is to tell you, I am attending this year BECAUSE “the time to hesitate is through.” Jim Morrison AND my son told me that.

Sooooooooo this is how my first day went – typical Renae. Sigh.

WIFYR – Day 1: Well, I did it: Walked into the auditorium laden with huge, ugly computer bag, Walmart reusable bag filled with books, lunch, and soda, AND my purse to envy. Searching for a seat in the quarter-filled auditorium, I wandered across the front to the empty seats on the south side. Rounding the corner, I TRIPPED over who-knows-what. The carpet? The slight incline? My own 2 feet?

Of course, I SPRAWLED, along with the computer bag, grocery sack, and cute green purse. Books and lunch slid out of the Walmart bag and people came rushing. Well, 2 concerned folk ran to my aid, INCLUDING Brandon Mull. Yes, the Fablehaven author came to my rescue, and all I could say was “I’m all right. I do this all the time.”

Brandon’s reply: “Oh, a grand entrance, huh?” Yeah, I guess you could call it that, but I catalog it as just plain CLUMSY!

Later that morning: My first class with Cherie and Rick, authors extrodinaire, was fun and enlightening. The most rewarding writing segment ignited a plot idea for the story idea I’ve been pondering. YaY.

Afternoon: Great breakout sessions with Alane Ferguson, Young Adult mystery writer – among other things – who talked about “finding your character’s voice.” Lots of good ideas, tips, warnings, etc. (She doesn’t exactly admire Stephanie Meyer’s lack of the writer’s craft.)

And the second session with Brandon Mull was just as great as he shared ideas about strengthing the story by developing 5 essential elements. Brandon was entertaining and honest. Maybe too honest. Upon leaving this breakout session, I realized I’ll be lucky to publish ANYTHING EVER! And luck just does not follow me. Read on.

Late afternoon: Can’t find my keys. Again. I finally remember that I shoved them into the book bag when I sprawled upon the auditorium floor. Of course, the book bag is locked in the morning’s classroom. I call for help. Twenty to thirty minutes later, I meet up with Carlos who VERY KINDLY opens the door for me. I find the keys. Whew!

After 5:00: I head for my PT Cruiser, only to find that the keyless entry won’t work. Why? Because the *#$&% battery is D.E.A.D. Seriously. I’m NOT kidding. It is DEAD! Being an old school sexist, I start looking for MEN with JUMPER CABLES to help me jump start the problem car. Three men later, I get help from Carrie – yes, young, capable, “I-am woman-hear-me-roar,” Carrie. She has jumper cables AND know-how!

A few minutes and a little maneuvering later, the car turns over; I drive from Sandy to the western desert where I live, stopping off to check the battery life. The news: It’s a good battery. What could this mean? A dying alternator, perhaps? OH NO!

And that, my friends, was day 1. (Although I am leaving out the spilled coke and over-flowing toilet episodes.)