If you read part 1 on this topic – which really isn’t about monkeys but about lying – you will know I suffered a truth-telling disorder when I was young. And while I work very hard to be completely honest now that I’ve reached the ripe old age of 62, I find that once in a while I slip into that bad habit.
The most recent blatant lie once again involved a monkey. This past June I was driving home from work, not feeling well at all. In fact, I had suffered through a lingering yuckiness for a couple of weeks. G.E. also felt under the weather with many of the same symptoms. (Perhaps this weakened physical state can justify my lapse into immoral turpitude.)
As I neared home, I received a call from my California son. (Or maybe I called him; I honestly can’t remember.) While talking to him, I also heard Arctic Circle calling me. It was screaming something like, “A chunky-MONKEY milk shake will really make you feel better. It’s waiting for you NOW.) With hardly a thought, I turned my P.T. Cruiser, aptly named Cream Puff, into the drive-through lane of this popular restaurant.
Remember, I am still chatting with my son Andy who is healthy, fit, and fine! As I draw closer to the intercom where patrons order their goodies, I heard myself saying, “I’m here at Arctic Circle to order Dad a chunky-MONKEY milkshake because he’s not feeling very well either.”
Andy replied, “Oh, that dad and his junk food! He’s just gotta have it, doesn’t he?”
“Uh, yeah, he does,” I answered, feeling the twinge of guilt and the revelation that this little deception would come back to haunt me.
Sure enough it did. A couple of weeks later when we visited our California kids, we were barely in the door when somehow or other the topic of milkshakes appeared out of nowhere. And wouldn’t you know, I was caught with my mouth on the straw. No babbling or rationalization could halt the accusations that pelted me.
All I could do is bow my head in shame and confess, adding that the chunky-MONKEY made me do it: the ice cream, the banana, the cashews, AND the bits of cookie dough. YUM! Who could blame me? …. well, I can think of a few. Sigh.
July 31, 2010 at 3:20 PM
I love Chunky Monkey shakes but did not know Artic Circle makes them. We would get them when we lived in Portland Oregon at a drivein I can’t recall (don’t you feel limited when you can’t remember the simple things that are not important but you want to remember) (like the name of the drive in where we bought Chunky Monkey shakes) Oh well, I will be pulling in to Artic Circle anyday to order one for who else but Bob; and of course split it with him, or not, depending whether he is actually in the car with me or not. About the lying thing — been there, done that & feel like such a brat when I still weaken and fib.
July 31, 2010 at 8:53 PM
You won’t see Chunky-Monkey on their order board, but if you tell them that’s what you want, they will know what you are talking about. 😀
I’ve been wondering why people stretch or distort the truth or just out and out lie. I’ve found some interesting observations, and all people of all ages do it, according to the articles I’ve read. I think I’ll share my “findings” on another post at a later date. I try very hard to be honest, but slip up as I indicated. I have been teased by hubby and son over it. Shame on me.
Thanks for making me feel better tho. I loves ya!
August 1, 2010 at 11:00 PM
Such a confession! I had a girl lie straight to my face at camp this week, but I called her on it. She tried to get out of what she was lying about as well as the original cause, but I wasn’t going easy on her!!
August 2, 2010 at 8:09 AM
Nor did Andy go easy on me!!! I guess we all learn these lessons at EVERY age! “… he that lieth and will not repent shall be cast out;” I have PUBLICLY repented, and so I’m safe … for the moment. :! Aren’t I?
Other than the “incident,” how was camp? Hope you enjoy your REAL vacation this week. Be safe!
August 2, 2010 at 10:55 AM
I am SO glad you found my blog! Thank you for your sweet comment! And I am SO excited that you have one too! 🙂 You are too funny, I’ve been playing catch-up. 🙂
August 2, 2010 at 12:56 PM
You are an excellent writer, and I loved playing catch-up on your site as well. Hope all is going good for the adorable Swain family deep in the heart of the Arizona desert.
August 5, 2010 at 1:20 PM
Oh my gosh that sounds sooooooo good! I might head over to Arctic Circle today! And you are hilarious! This is so funny because who hasn’t done this! But it always comes back to bite you! So really? bananas and cookie dough and cashews?? Is it chocolate too? mmmmm…..!!
August 9, 2010 at 5:25 PM
What can I say? I’m a weak-willed person. Sigh. 🙂
August 24, 2010 at 12:15 PM
You’d best stay away from those monkeys! : )
Interesting that you have a PT Cruiser! I had one while we lived in Las Vegas, and for a year or so after we moved here. It was one of the originals–a red one–so it had one of those engines too small for its relative size, hence not good gas mileage nor pick-up for interstate driving, etc., but wow was it ever comfy! plenty of headroom and I loved the classic lines. Unfortunately it wasn’t up to our mountain driving and had problems getting up the hilly roads to our home here, hence we had to let it go and replace it with a hybrid honda instead, which I don’t regret but I sure do miss driving Petey Loser (our nickname because of the engine problem). I hear the newer ones are better these days. Just goes to show great minds (like ours) think alike!