May 24 ~ a day that will live in weather infamy;
May 25 ~ SPRINGS back again!
“… because you are you and I am me …” or MISadventures at the DMV
My birthday is soon, and it’s one of note. Only because my driver’s license needs renewal. Utah has STIFF new requirements for this process that include substantiating your existence via …
- birth certificate OR passport
- social security card
- proof of current address.
Lines have been LONG, computers have been DOWN, and employees and citizens have been FRUSTRATED. So I was nervous about this morning’s experience, BUT …
- there were NO long lines (I scheduled an “appointment” online just in case; but I got lost and was late for the time slot anyway);
- the computers WERE working; AND
- the employees were PLEASANT!
Nevertheless, it did NOT go well. The following discussion with G.E. tells the tale.
Me: Hi Honey, things didn’t go well.
G.E.: Why? What happened?
Me: They wouldn’t accept my birth certificate.
G.E.: I thought you took in your baby book!
Me: I did. But the birth certificate in the book didn’t have an official seal.
G.E.: I told you you should have renewed your passport.
Me: I know you did, but I didn’t see any grand trips to Europe on the horizon, so I didn’t bother.
G.E.: Neither did I, but I still renewed it. What about your social security card. Did you have that?
Me: HECK NO! I haven’t had that for years. I don’t even remember the last time I had an actual social security card!
G.E.: Did you lose it?
Me: I DON’T know! It’s been so long that I have no idea what happened to it.
G.E.: I have mine. The original.
Me: I know you do.
G.E.: Why do I have mine and you don’t have yours?
Me: Because you are you, and I am me.
G.E.: Did you know I have a laminated, wallet-sized birth certificate with an official seal on it that I carry in my wallet?
Me: (silence)
G.E.: Did you have ANYTHING?
Me: Yes, I had good hair. I spent hours combing it so that I would look good for the photo. That’s more important than a birth certificate, isn’t it?
Note 1: My last picture is my ALL-TIME FAVORITE driver’s license photo. I call it my “DMV glamor photo.” I’ve used it as an avatar. I’ve made provisions in my will to use it in my obituary. 
Note 2: When I recapped this actual conversation with my mom, she said, “Well, if Mr. Smarty Pants is so organized, why doesn’t HE have a copy of your birth certificate?”
“He does, Mom. He told me he’d find it in one of the white binders lining his closet shelf when he gets home tonight. It’s even in a protective plastic sheet.”
… what’s worse than throwing up? …
DEATH … and that’s debatable!
That’s how I felt yesterday. Today I epitomize the cliche’ “Death, warmed over.”
Stomach Flu, created by me via Jackson Pollock.org
End of story.
after 383 days and 108 posts, am I a bona fide blogger?
AVATARS by the HALF-DOZEN
I didn’t know what to write, but I started anyway. Now, over a year later, I’ve posted 94 entries and 14 pages, equaling 108! If I divide that number into 383 days, I learn that I averaged a post every 3.5 days for just over a year. ADDITIONAL division (is that an oxymoron?) indicates I added about 9 entries month to seasons. Now the question is this: Am I a bona fide blogger?
When I launched my blog on April 29, 2009, I read some data about how long the average person lasts before bailing out of the blogosphere. I can’t remember how long that definitive time is, but I think I’ve passed it. And I hope I’ve posted often enough to be considered a practicing, dedicated, determined blogger. Are there criteria out in the blog world that defines such web loggers? If so, are longevity and frequency of blogging the deciding factors, or are there more?
I remember one time I missed out on an award that co-bloggers (cobloggers? coggers?) bestow upon one another. In order to receive the recognition, the writer had to post quality and frequent entries. My new blogging friend sent me a message saying that she would have passed the honor onto me, but she didn’t think I posted often enough. I was okay with that because she posted often and surpassed my efforts. Her message actually inspired me to write more because I WANT AN AWARD, dang it!!
Actually, I started writing more because I LOVE BLOGGING/WRITING/CREATING/COMMUNICATING/ REMEMBERING/REFLECTING/and LEARNING! To commemorate this blogging milestone – which is a little weird because this post doesn’t honor the year date or the 100th post or anything like that (I zipped right past both of those occasions! Duh!) – I think I should look back over the past 383 days and 108 posts to examine what I’ve discovered about blogging and about me.
- It is ridiculously hard to come up with a creative name for a blog. good times AND seasons is the latest in a long string of ideas. I started with the site’s address, The Sixth Season because I had turned 60 and saw each decade as a season of sorts, but then I was reminded that if that was the case I was actually embarking upon my 7th season. Duh! I’m still not satisfied with the good times … title, but I DO love the Ecclesiastes reference.
- Post titles are also hard to create, AND they are really important because a catchy title can attract readers AND might be enough to “get featured on ‘Freshly Pressed'”! I think one of my best post titles is “hair-i-tic” but it better fits one of my pages, and so now I have “hair-i-tic” and “hair-i-tic 2 ~ a PLEASANT hair-raising experience” – a not-so-great title.
- It is VERY difficult to create a unique blog that continually features unusual, entertaining posts. I tried to come up with something few, if any bloggers, had thought of. My first idea was Needing Naomi, a blog site dedicated to mothers-in-law because, like stepmothers, I think m-i-ls get a bad rap. But I couldn’t think of a way to sustain the idea without getting in trouble with my own daughters-in-law, and I do that enough without writing about it. Until some INCREDIMAZING idea hits me, I’ll stick with remembering, observing, and reflecting – boring, I know, but right now, it’s all I’ve got.
- It’s VERY hard to be creative, and when I try too hard it blows up in my face. When I first started my blogging avocation, I struggled with writing ideas, and thus came up with some very strange ones. Here are a couple:
- … time to dislike … (a post about voles. Yes, v.o.l.e.s.)
- …a time to embrace – love in the spring … (a post about worms. Yes, w.o.r.m.s.)
- I’ve also learned that you can NEVER guess what will attract readers. The most popular entry I posted is “… a time to ramble …”. I’m not sure why 1,539 people have clicked on it. Could it be links to David Letterman and Sarah Palin? Or references to Troy Donahue and Sandra Dee? Or a silly discussion about old-fashioned slang terms or outdated hairstyles? Could I be riding on the popularity of Ann Cannon’s Deseret News column or her blog because I quoted her? Could it be the tags I listed? Not many visitors left comments, so I am really IN THE DARK!
Well, there SO many more things that I have learned – like how to use a camera so I can post pix on blogs – but the 2 BEST lessons I have learned are …
1.) there are an unbelievable number of good writers in BlogWorld! I am constantly impressed with the humorous, insightful, descriptive, and entertaining writing available in blogs throughout the world. And they are written by everyday people like me, but more talented. A-FREAKIN’-MAZING! My hats off to the multitudes of bloggers out there who light up this sometimes dismal world. I LOVE YOU GUYS!
2.) There are lots of terrific people I’ve met through words and photos posted on web logs. I feel a real kinship to several, and although I’ve never squeezed their hands in greeting or seen their flesh and bone bodies, I admire these people. They inspire me, impress me, entertain me, and make blogging more rewarding than I ever imagined. And whether or not I’m a bona fide blogger, I’ll keep on because it is a big part of my life now, as are the friends I’ve met via this unusual route.
Thank you so much!
what I ruined today
Today I slept in until 9:00 A.M. I cannot tell you how blissful that felt. It would have been the most perfect of sleep-ins IF G.E. hadn’t started his day at 7:00 A.M. As I wafted in and out of consciousness, I felt guilty about snuggling under the comforter while he headed for Home Depot.
Once he was out the door, however, all guilt disappeared. But then there were the wack-o morning dreams. I experienced my most frequent re-occurring nightmare – teeth falling out of my mouth! At least this time I was in a dentist’s office.
Once I drug myself out of bed and checked to see that all 32 teeth (counting fake one in the bridge) were still secure, I started my day: washing the clothes, stripping the bed, cleaning up me, etc.
The anxiety set in while I perused my cookbooks for a brownie recipe. My Saturday chores included making brownies for a church social I couldn’t attend. But the dessert was needed, so I volunteered to make some.
After dashing to Walmart for the ingredients for a simple but yummy-sounding recipe, I quickly (for me) whipped up “Grandma’s Caramel Brownies” from one of several church-ladies’ cookbooks that I own. I followed the directions VERY carefully, even catching mistakes BEFORE I made them.
I pulled them from the oven after exactly 23 minutes – as instructed, but I didn’t toothpick test them because that just doesn’t work for brownies, especially when they are warm. The pick will NOT, canNOT come out clean – so why bother?
While they cooled I readied myself for the play G.E. and I were taking Mom to – the reason I wasn’t attending the social. What happened next was one more nightmare in a long list of attempts to cook, bake, or prepare something edible for a church social. The brownies were BEYOND gooey. I tried to dish them up onto the large, clear glass plate I bought just for those confections, but the glops just plopped like chunky mounds of dough or frosting or grosser things that I won’t mention.
Almost time to go, I decided to call the social’s organizer and explain my dilemma – she didn’t answer her phone and she expected me to deliver the goodies within minutes. What to do!?!
I scooped up the messies and threw them back into the 13X9 pan, covered it with plastic wrap, washed the platter and delivered them ANYWAY! As I handed them to her, I suggested she try REbaking them! Then I apologized AGAIN and rushed out the door, feeling some satisfaction that she knew I TRIED to follow through.
Now I can add brownies to the list of failed pot luck dishes, along with the burned chili made with unsoaked, crunchy beans and peach cobbler that was as gooey as the brownies. I know there are more examples, but it’s late and I’m tired.
The play – The 3 Musketeers – was mediocre, but we had a good dinner and lots of laughs at McGraff’s. Mom was tired and happy when we dropped her off at home, and I was thrilled I didn’t have to spend an evening at a church social apologizing for the gloppy brownies!
Nighty night.
what I savored today
A week or so ago, I stopped by Barnes and Noble to buy a gift for a colleague and friend who is a captive in HealthSouth Rehabilitation Center while she recuperates from injuries suffered in a terrible auto accident CAUSED BY A DISTRACTED DRIVER. (Renae, are you paying attention?)
Anyway, while browsing I found a journal of sorts that invites participants to record their way to finding their best selves – over a two-year period. (Sorry, but after all this time spent looking for that elusive person, I want it to happen NOW, not in 24 more months. I am running out of time!)
If you opened this thick hardbound book, you would find the same 6 questions, recorded in two different columns on each page. The idea is that you answer the questions in one column over the course of a year, and then write reflections about the same subjects in the second column the following year; hoping, I guess, that your responses will show growth.
A different set of questions are interjected quarterly – I can’t remember what those queries were, but here are the main six probes, along with my responses for Friday, May 14, 2010.
- What did I do today?
- Ventured off to work
- lost my wallet
- searched the car for my wallet
- searched Barnes & Noble, my office, and parking lot for my wallet
- found my wallet waiting for me at the receptionist’s desk because some wonderful, honest citizen discovered it on the pavement and turned it in, COMPLETE with my nearly-expired license, credit cards, discount cards, and $5 freakin’ dollars
- What did I feel today?
- like it’s time for someone to commit me to the care of an asylum for the incurably LOST – as in LOST phoneS, LOST glasses, LOST mind, LOST sanity!
- What was I grateful for today?
- The wonderful, honest, kind stranger who took pity on a lonely and shabby gray wallet with a dozen rectangles of plastic crammed into the front pocket – along with a McDonald’s receipt and that FIVE DOLLAR BILL
- and this cool picture I took of a goose, who recently returned from southern somewhere. I actually snapped it a couple of weeks ago outside of SOUTH Towne Mall – yes, the mall; he was obviously waiting with the goslings while his wife shopped inside. Welcome back, Gander!
- What was my biggest challenge?
- 3 guesses!
- How will I overcome it?
- Other than the COMMIT RENAE idea, I have NO clue what to do with my OBLIVIOUSNESS. Any ideas? Please come forth!
- What did I savor?
- The pepperoni and mozzarella on adagio cheese pretzel celebration-of-finding-my-wallet sandwich! VERY satisfying AND soothing!
Now if I answer these questions EVERYDAY for 2 years, would I see progress towards becoming my best self, OR will it be a CRAZY, DIZZYING decent into TOTAL – versus partial – OBLIVION?????
(Want to get caught up on “what I read today?” Go HERE and scroll down to the May 14th section of the page. This book is so intriguing. I love the characters, especially the mom, and Roth’s chilly re-creation of history is fascinating. I think he really lived through this experience in an alternate universe!)
random pix pick-me-up
Okay – some days just don’t look good from the minute “classic country’s” twang jars me awake. (This is G.E.’s newest attempt to force us out from under the covers! It’s a miserable experience on so many levels!)
When the Monday blahs stare me in the face, I search for reasons to smile, and I usually don’t have to go far. Browsing through photos saved in a file or posted on Face Book by family members can “chuckle” me up. So here are some that helped me find my grin!
(I know I’m NOT a good photographer and sometimes the batteries in my cute red CoolPix are out of juice, and so I resort to using my G1 phone camera that doesN’T zoom, BUT I must remind you that the AMAZING banner that heads this blog is a RenaeMonet created from a PhonePhoto with a little help from PhotoShop. Sorry, but it had to be said! Again.)
This is TRULY a candid photo I didn't even know I snapped! Taken from my phone camera of Cutie Carter on his 2nd birthday as I slipped my G1 into my pocket, it's better than ones I purposely clicked!
Another blurred phone-photo, here's BIG BRO CONNOR and his Little Great-Gramma sorta singing the birthday song!
Taylor is ALWAYS the smilin' girl!
This Pixie's pic was taken a few months ago. Now she has a hair more hair!
How much is that Mia in the window? The one with the funniest face?
Sister to Sister!
Tim's version of me - I asked him to slim down some of the rolls, and he obliged. Wish it was truly that easy!
Goggle Guy is sh-sh-shivering!!!
"You keep doin' that and your eyeballs will STICK!"
(I copied and pasted these pix from Andy’s Face Book pate page. (That typo was too funny to delete! To remove any doubt, my son is NOT wearing a pate on his FB page!) Wish I could enlarge the Maegan pix. Under her crossed eyes picture, Andy quotes Cousin Eddie from Christmas Vacation (I think) – something about falling down wells and then getting kicked by a mule. 80’s kids can relate, I suppose!)
NO they won't!!!
Hope you enjoyed these fun fotos. Don’t think I forgot Brayden, Spencer, and Abby! These are random – remember? (Sometimes I have to send out a search party to find Spencer Buddy, but I’ll devote a post to you guys and little gal soon!) Thanks to all subjects for their cheering influence. I loves you all!
thinking of grandmothers
Mom, Uncle Lloyd, and Aunt Wyoma
Yesterday I took Mom to celebrate my Aunt Wyoma’s 90th birthday. While there, I chatted with Uncle Lloyd. These three are the remaining children of my grandparent’s 9 sons and 4 daughters. Last year, Mom wrote the first installment of her personal history, and so we talked often of her mother and father and her growing-up years in southern Idaho. Their lives were hard, especially in comparison to my own.
Sometimes I have a difficult time realizing how much has changed in just a couple of generations – more than fashions or hairstyles, homes or cars, technology or pop culture. I’m thinking about my grandmother’s way of life compared to my own. Interestingly, I recently read a paragraph in a novel that lists some housewives’ duties as rendered in 1940. While the plot of Philip Roth’s fiction of alternate history has VERY LITTLE to do with the direction my reverie, I decided the author’s description extends beyond that of a Jewish neighborhood in Newark, NJ. I could picture both of my grandmothers performing every listed task plus more in their little Mormon homes in Idaho.
Roth writes:
The men worked fifty, sixty, even seventy or more hours a week; the women worked all the time with little assistance from labor-saving devices, washing laundry, ironing shirts, mending socks, turning collars, sewing on buttons, moth-proofing woolens, polishing furniture, sweeping and mopping floors, washing windows, cleaning sinks, tubs, toilets and stoves, vacuuming rugs, nursing the sick, shopping for food, cooking meals, feeding relatives, tidying closets and drawers, overseeing paint jobs and household repairs, arranging for religious observances, paying bills and keeping the family books while simultaneously attending to their children’s health, clothing, cleanliness, schooling, nutrition, conduct, birthdays, discipline and morale.
As I perused the long list, I pictured how much time women devoted to performing these responsibilities. I do SOME of these things, but modern conveniences have stripped away much of the drudgery.
Grandma's was a gray version of this one.
For example, Mom related that for much of her married life, my grandma heated water for washing clothes on a “boiler” that she placed over two plates on the stove to heat the water. In 1940, Mom’s parents purchased a Maytag washer. I can’t even imagine what a thrill that must have been for her.
Nevertheless, my grandmothers and my mother hung clothes on lines to dry as did I when I was first married. Dryers weren’t part of their households for a very long time, but I didn’t go without that luxury for more than 5 or 6 years. G.E.’s mom NEVER purchased a dryer. She loved the freshness of hung-dried sheets, towels, shirts, etc. in spite of their starched-like stiffness!
This Ironrite looks like Grandma Barrett's
In the 1950s, I thought Grandma B. was rich because she owned an Ironrite, an automatic roller iron, also called a Mangle! (What kind of name is that for an appliance that was supposed to make life easier?) I watched her feed sheets, pillowcases, DISHTOWELS, hankies, dresses, blouses, shirts, and slacks between the two giant rollers with a deftness that I admired. I dared not stand too close, however, because I was afraid the monster might grab hold of my little hand and press it flat!
Additionally, one grandmother served as president of the Relief Society, the women’s auxiliary of our church, for 8 years! My other grandma played the organ for Sunday meetings for many, many years. Grandma H. often assisted Grandpa in hanging wallpaper – one of his many jobs that included carpentry, butchery, dry farming, and mechanics. And Grandma B. organized her children into a family dance band to help bring in extra money.
Both Rebecca and Ethyl were amazing women that I still adore across the decades and into the eternities. God bless them!
Note: I’m a fan of The Writer’s Corner (and also what I ate today), written by Ann Cannon, and so I’m sort of taking her lead by adding a “page” to this blog – “and what I read today!” So if you want a little info about what held my interest via hard copy OR audio copy, go HERE to read what I think of The Plot Against America by Philip Roth.
where have YOU found spring?
I have SEEN spring
… in the dogwoods and azaleas of Georgia,
… in the verdant greens of California hillsides,
… in the snow-kissed blossoms of Utah.
Where have you SEEN spring?
I have HEARD spring
… in the rat-tat-tat of Georgia’s woodpeckers,
… in the soft rhythm of waves at Monterey Bay,
… in the howling and whistling of Utah’s gale-force winds.
Where have you HEARD spring?
I have TASTED spring
… in the mellow sweetness of Georgia’s Vidalia onions,
… in the juicy ripeness of California berries,
… in the cup of chicken soup that warms up Utah’s May.
Where have you TASTED spring?
I have SMELLED spring
… in the dewy freshness of a Georgia morning,
… in the popcorn and peanuts at California baseball games,
… in the chilly air of Utah’s rain-turning-to-snow.
Where have you SMELLED spring?
I have FELT spring
… in the gathering moisture of Georgia humidity,
… in the rough bark of California’s climbing trees,
… in the slush and crunch of frosty remnants of Utah’s spring storms.
Where have you FELT spring?
Note: Last month was National Poetry Month, and this is one of those quick and easy form poems I used with students to help them write sensory images. My original effort was an ode to Christmas, but I decided it was time to honor spring time in the Rockies!
a season of transitions
Spring is FIGHTING to make its way into Utah. It’s NEVER an easy process as it is in some parts of the country. For every tip-toe into bloomin’ sunshine, Ma Nature takes several steps back into snow-blowin’ storms! To make my point, here are some pictures – taken with my PHONE CAMERA – bidding farewell to APRIL SHOWERS (?), and just 24 hours later welcoming in MAY FLOWERS!
(Special Note: The banner at the top of “good times & seasons” is one of those pictures I took last Saturday! Not too bad for a PhonePhoto and a little help from PhotoShop! Oh, and another thing, Eagle Mountain is not ALL THAT FAR from SLC, but you couldn’t tell that by these pix!)
April 30, 2010 ~ Snow Trees in Eagle Mountain
May 1, 2010 ~ Blossoms in Salt Lake City
Writing My Life 