Writing My Life

Now and Then

Category Archives: … just another entry …

I refuse to state the obvious!


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… the bug boy hugged me …

Last Friday I attempted to relate a funny story to 2 of my colleagues – Carolyn and Allen. It started something like this:

Me: Something funny happened to me yesterday …

Carolyn (interrupts): You lost your phone?

Me (smiles because losing phones is my M.O.) : No, I …

Allen (also interrupts): You left your computer bag in a parking lot and security called the bomb squad?

Me (sorta laughing because I’ve done that, too): No, I was …

Carolyn (yes, she interrupts yet again): You got trapped in an open elevator?

Me (oh yeah, that’s happened, too; got to blog about that): NO! None of the above. This is not a repeat of any past bloopers! Okay? May I continue?

Allen and Carolyn (totally laughing): Sure.

Me (sigh): All right. Yesterday while working at home, the door bell rang and when I answered, there stood yet another pest control salesman. You know the type: Young, handsome, clean-cut returned Mormon missionary.

FLASHBACK.

Anyway, I tried to send him away by reporting that we already have the services of Terminex. But he was good. Before I could shut the door in that innocent face, he rattled off the lower price and improved services which included SAFE VOLE EXTERMINATION approved by the EPA. I stopped mid-slam because I greatly dislike voles – to put it mildly – and I wanted to hear more.

Being a conscientious consumer, I asked how their company safely ridded the planet of the pests, and he explained. Next he asked where the rodents’ headquarters were. (I didn’t know they were that organized!) Anyway, I escorted him to our deck to show him the vole damage to our backyard and to see if he could locate the enemy’s op center.

After a few more minutes of detailed information, I signed up for the service, shook his hand, and “attempted” to indicate the direction to the back gate by raising and extending my arm to point my finger towards the exit.

Me: You can …

BUG BOY WRAPS HIS ARMS AROUND ME IN A QUICK BEAR HUG!

Me (stammering as BB jumps back and away): … uh, can leave by the …

BugBoy (embarrassed and turning 15 shades of red): You totally didn’t mean to hug me, did you? I was thinkin’, ‘I don’t remember ever getting a hug for selling bug spray…’ . I – uh – totally feel like a dork …

Me (laughing, Laughing, LAUGHING OUT LOUD): Omigosh! This is too funny! Don’t worry, I’m old enough be to be your mother; maybe even your grandmother. (MORE UNCONTROLLED LAUGHTER.)

BugBoy (with a little nervous chuckle): I mean … uh … I can just hear what you’re going to tell your husband. ‘This kid totally put the moves on me.’  (Shakes my hand and hurries towards the gate.)

Me (still hysterically guffawing): Yeah, and you’re going to have a some story to share back at the sales office. BUT you better tell it right!!!

BugBoy: Oh, I will. I promise. Uh, bye … (RUNS out the gate.)

PRESENT.

Allen (LOL): You need to write a book; I swear …

Carolyn: Hey, she does write about it on her blog. You’ve SERIOUSLY got to blog this.

Allen: We’ll just call you Cougar Renae from here out.

Renae (confused): Huh? (Thinking to herself: What Brigham Young University’s mascot has to do with this story?)

BYU’s fight song plays in the background: RISE AND SHOUT, THE COUGARS ARE OUT …


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… a different kind of love story …

June is traditionally a month for weddings, and so it was for my parents and G.E.’s mom and dad as well. While my parent’s love story started near the END of World War II, Jennie K. (aka Pat) and Charles H. (aka Chuck) met near the BEGINNING of that war. Were they alive, the two would have celebrated their 69th wedding anniversary yesterday, June 4.     

It was 1941, and Charles H. and his army buddies headed for the Coconut Grove Ballroom in Salt Lake City. While ambling down the Main Street, he noticed a cute blonde walking with her mother, and he turned to his friends to report he had just seen his wife. (Note: This is a common story often told by spouses, and while I don’t doubt that my father-in-law said it, I just wonder how MANY times he made that comment after checking out each Utah cutie!)     

Doesn't he look like Errol Flynn?

 

Not long after that encounter, the young soldier from Illinois spotted the blonde of his dreams at the ballroom. Now the Grove had the largest dance floor in the nation at that time, so what were the chances that he would run into Miss Blondie again and so soon? It had to be fate!   

Charles H. asked her to dance; Jennie/Pat said, “Of course,” and before long, hugs and kisses were followed by marriage. But it was hard going for several reasons.     

The two hailed in very different parts of the U.S. ~ Pat was raised in Helena, Montana and Olney, Illinois was Chuck’s home. Both grew up in dysfunctional families, and Pat’s parents had recently divorced, a rare occurrence in 1940’s America.     

Different religious backgrounds divided the two as well. Pat was Mormon, and Chuck didn’t really associate with any particular denomination. Maybe they didn’t think the difference was all that important when the excitement of the romance was flourishing, but as time passed, the dissimilarity did matter.     

As often happened in those days before birth control, Pat became pregnant right away and suffered with morning sickness that increased in severity as she traveled cross-country to meet her in-laws in Illinois. Shortly after the trip, she lost the baby, and not long after that Chuck received orders that shipped him off to INDIA. Yes, India.      

While crossing the Pacific, the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, and my father-in-law’s unit was held up in Australia while generals decided whether to ship their unit elsewhere. Eventually, Chuck arrived in India where he spent “the duration” supporting The Flying Tigers, U.S. volunteer group who tangled against the Japanese in China.      

Pat was barely 18 when she married her soldier, who was 5 years her senior. They had spent so little time together before his deployment that the marriage must have felt more like a dream than a reality. Because of the circumstances, Pat moved with her mother to Los Angeles where she worked in a munitions factory – a regular Rosie the Riviter. When her mom met and married an army colonel, Pat returned to Montana where she served as an LDS missionary.     

When he returned to Utah in 1945, the husband and wife were strangers, but this did not deter Chuck. Pat wasn’t as sure that they could make it work, but she stayed anyway. The two bought a duplex in the Millcreek area with winnings he saved from gambling with his buddies. Pat was soon expecting a baby, and Chuck joined the Mormon Church but fought the rest of his life to live the church’s strict health code – an issue that frustrated the couple.     

Chuck was a hard worker, but his career as a grocer and a warehouseman didn’t bring in much money. Finances were always tight for the family of 7, and health issues among the children complicated the budget. Nevertheless, they didn’t quit. They struggled to make the marriage work for 44 years, and then Pat passed away. Charles H. always adored his beautiful blonde, and Jennie/Pat grew to love her soldier.     

While some might think the two may have been happier with other people, their children are grateful they stayed together. Experts claim that’s the better route because children suffer less when parents choose stick it out rather than divorce.  

When I think of the odds stacked against them – their youth, the quick romance, the long, hard separation, their very different personalities and religious beliefs – i am impressed that they succeeded. Pat and Chuck’s strong example of working through their differences as well as through life’s challenges is a testament to their belief that marriage is a serious and selfless committment.  And they prevailed in keeping that committment.    

My dearest Mom and Pop-in-law, I love and respect you both more than ever. Thank you for your good choices. We have been blessed because of them.


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… “whatever happened to old-fashioned love?” …

A Tribute to Momma and Daddy on Their 65th Anniversary

This morning I once again awakened to G.E.’s favorite station: classic country. Maybe it was B.J. Thomas singing the crossover hit, “Whatever Happened to Old-Fashioned Love?” or a country singer I don’t know, but the melody and a few lines of the song stayed in my head and then moved to my heart.

Whatever happened to old fashioned love
The kind that would see you through
The kind of love my Momma and Daddy knew
Yeah, whatever happened to old fashioned love
The kind that would last through the years
Through the trials
Through the smiles
Through the tears

It was appropriate. Sixty-five years ago today, my mom and dad stood before a Mormon Bishop in Champaigne, Illinois to recite their vows of matrimony. Dad’s army buddy and his wife, Mom’s new friend, witnessed the ceremony as the best man and matron of honor.

June 1, 1945

That was it. Five people, including the fresh-faced groom and the stunning bride. Simple. Tender. Romantic.

Mom has mentioned a time or two that she regrets leaving her mother and father behind in Pocatello to make the cross-country trip to marry her soldier boy, but NO ONE could have changed her mind then. The two had been apart for two-plus months, and that was long enough. Too long.

They met on March 24, 1945, engaged 3 days later, and married on June 1st. While waiting at the Illinois train station for Dad to pick her up, Mom recorded her excitement in a letter to one of her 9 brothers. Even the words on the paper are breathless in anticipation, and the last scribbled line reads, “Here he comes; got to run!”

June 1, 2005

I don’t have to close my eyes to picture those two running to each other. I can see my 6 foot 3-inch father lift his Becky – all 5 feet 3 inches of her – into his arms and kissing her JUST LIKE IN THE MOVIES!

But their life together was much better than any MGM production because their love was real and lasting. Connie and I never tired of listening to “their love story,” and Daddy never tired of telling it. Up to the day he passed away, he reminded us that he loved our mother the first time he saw her. From that moment to this, their love has lasted “through the trials; through the smiles; through the tears,” and now on into eternity.

I love you so much Momma and Daddy!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!


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… celebrating cemeteries & birthdays …

Yesterday was my 62nd birthday, and as tradition OFTEN (as opposed to ALWAYS) dictates, I spent part of it in the cemetery. Because the anniversary of my birth no longer falls on Memorial EVERY year, there are those times when the rotating holiday lands a full week before May 30th, and grave decorating is NOT part of the birthday celebration. During those off-times, I actually miss the tradition as so many memories are wrapped up in that birth-Memorial Day observance.

While I am sweetly honored by family and friends on my special day, I am also happy to honor my father, mother-in-law, and father-in-law by placing flowers at their headstones. This year, I shook my head in disbelief as I realized Daddy has been gone for nearly 3 years. Impossible. G.E.’s father, “Chuck”, left us nearly 15 years ago; but Grandma Salisbury, “Pat”, passed away almost 25 years ago at age 62. (Did you catch the correlation between her DEATH age and my CELEBRATED age? Distressing!)

Ann Cannon, my favorite columnist and blog friend, wrote today about the reflective nature of visiting cemeteries. She should know as she lives near and walks daily through the Salt Lake Cemetery. Ann observed through the wise words of a clergyman that our earthly lives are finite, and that we’ll NEVER have enough time; therefore, we should “CHOOSE to make the time we have together SWEET.”

I am sure that my kind mother-in-law did not realize that when she left for her daily walk that September morning that she would no longer be able to sweeten the time she had left with her “Chuck,” her children, or her grandchildren. I know she looked forward to baking more “sweet” bread for all of us who loved it; to reading stories and playing the organ for grandsons and daughters; to attending missionary farewells, weddings, and baby blessings; and to talking and listening to family and friends reminisce, reflect, and predict about times past, present, and future.

Her unexpected passing so many years ago reminds me that while it is impossible for every minute of every day to be sweet; it is possible to find the sweetness in each day – even if it’s just a minute. And then when the shadows fall for the final time, we can hope we have tasted more days of sweetness than hours of bitterness.

That is my hope, especially this year as I turned 62.


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… purse envy ~ a tale of 2 stories …

Story #1 – Canal Street

The setting of our story.

Once upon a time Miss Carolyn was shopping the Canal Street scene in NEW YORK CITY with her friend, Miss Amy. As any NYC tourist knows, Canal Street is home to knock-off/fake bags. Miss Amy was dy.ing for a red purse, and sure enough, she found THE PERFECT RED PURSE! (Meaning it was to.die.4 CUTE!)

Miss Carolyn

BUT remember, she was with Miss Carolyn who is the queen of bargain shopping. She likes to bargain, and she’s good at it; consequently, she tutored her friend about how to get a good price on the great purse.

  1. Take time to shop other vendors to see what they are charging for similar merchandise.
  2. Decide how much you REALLY want that purse.
  3. Once you know the average “going” price, add in the “desirability quotient” to determine the HIGHEST price you will pay.
  4. Be prepared to walk away from the red purse if the vendor WILL NOT meet YOUR pre-determined price limit.
  5. Return to the original vendor and offer a much lower price than what you are WILLING to pay.
  6. Barter until you pay what you want OR walk away!

Miss Amy

Got that? Well, Miss Carolyn AND Miss Amy followed those steps, and Miss Amy purchased her GORGEOUS dream bag for $35. (Whether or not that was a bargain, I don’t know because I’ve NEVER shopped Canal Street, AND I am terrible at bartering. I have S.U.C.K.E.R. written all over me. BUT I LOVE the purse and would have paid more for it, I’m sure!)

Now, Miss Carolyn loved the purse, too, and found a slightly smaller version in dark plum. Hmmm! But she didn’t want to be a CopyCat, and so she suffered purse envy in silence.

Upon their return to Utah, Miss Carolyn’s Mama admired the red purse, and then turned to her daughter and asked, “Why didn’t YOU buy one?” Miss C. confessed that she wanted to but thought it would be tacky to own one so similar to her friend’s.

The ENVIED Purse!

Miss Amy couldn’t believe it as she is NOT the type that has to own one-of-a-kind creations. NO WAY! And so, the faithful friend searched for someone who was visiting New York City – a “drafted” personal shopper of sorts, and asked HIM to hit Canal Street in search of the famous purple purse.

The kind purse-runner found the handbag, purchased it for $30, and surrendered it to Miss Amy to give to Miss Carolyn! And EVERYONE – the friends, the purses, and the runner lived HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

Except Renae, and THAT’S story #2!

Story #2 – The Department Store

An Older Woman

Once upon a time there was an older woman who thought that she had outgrown youthful vices like coveting, envy, jealousy. That kind of thing.

But then she met up with THE purse.

Happy for the owner of said bag, she exclaimed, praised, and admired the dark plum creation. The woman was even more delighted over the amazing accessory when she heard the legend behind the purple pocketbook – the purchase place, the bargaining, AND the gift. She not only wanted a purse; she wanted the experience.

And so the woman headed for … Kohl’s. Yes, Kohl’s. She searched the shelves, priced a red Vera Lang, a purple Relic, and a silver Chaps – NOT the  BIG brands, but not knock-offs. All were ON SALE for 40% off the original prices. She was thrilled, but MAYBE she could drive down the price even more!

Finally, the woman spotted the Elle Delano Satchel in golden olive – there was only one. How badly did she want it? The original price was $65; much too expensive. The discounted price, however, was $39.00. Not bad. BUT she had … A COUPON!

Confidently, she marched to the checkout line and plopped her purchase onto the counter, and the sales associate started to ring up the $39 price, but she whipped out the 15% off coupon before the transaction was completed. Now she deducted 55% to equal $29.25.

While the department store excursion was a “knock-off” experience when compared to shopping on Canal Street, and the purchase wasn’t as jazzy as the New York City find, the golden olive satchel with ruched details and tumbled faux leather did tame the green-eyed monster and laid the purse envy to rest.

… and they ALL lived happily ever after – again!

The End

 

 


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“… because you are you and I am me …” or MISadventures at the DMV

My birthday is soon, and it’s one of note. Only because my driver’s license needs renewal. Utah has STIFF new requirements for this process that include substantiating your existence via …

  • birth certificate OR passport
  • social security card
  • proof of current address.

Lines have been LONG, computers have been DOWN, and employees and citizens have been FRUSTRATED. So I was nervous about this morning’s experience, BUT …

  • there were NO long lines (I scheduled an “appointment” online just in case; but I got lost and was late for the time slot anyway);
  • the computers WERE working; AND
  • the employees were PLEASANT!

Nevertheless, it did NOT go well. The following discussion with G.E. tells the tale.

Me: Hi Honey, things didn’t go well.

G.E.: Why? What happened?

Me: They wouldn’t accept my birth certificate.

G.E.: I thought you took in your baby book!

Me: I did. But the birth certificate in the book didn’t have an official seal.

G.E.: I told you you should have renewed your passport.

Me: I know you did, but I didn’t see any grand trips to Europe on the horizon, so I didn’t bother.

G.E.: Neither did I, but I still renewed it. What about your social security card. Did you have that?

Me: HECK NO! I haven’t had that for years. I don’t even remember the last time I had an actual social security card!

G.E.: Did you lose it?

Me: I DON’T know! It’s been so long that I have no idea what happened to it.

G.E.: I have mine. The original.

Me: I know you do.

G.E.: Why do I have mine and you don’t have yours?

Me: Because you are you, and I am me.

G.E.: Did you know I have a laminated, wallet-sized birth certificate with an official seal on it that I carry in my wallet?

Me: (silence)

G.E.: Did you have ANYTHING?

Me: Yes, I had good hair. I spent hours combing it so that I would look good for the photo. That’s more important than a birth certificate, isn’t it?

Note 1: My last picture is my ALL-TIME FAVORITE driver’s license photo. I call it my “DMV glamor photo.” I’ve used it as an avatar. I’ve made provisions in my will to use it in my obituary.

Note 2: When I recapped this actual conversation with my mom, she said, “Well, if Mr. Smarty Pants is so organized, why doesn’t HE have a copy of your birth certificate?”

“He does, Mom. He told me he’d find it in one of the white binders lining his closet shelf when he gets home tonight. It’s even in a protective plastic sheet.”


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after 383 days and 108 posts, am I a bona fide blogger?

AVATARS by the HALF-DOZEN

I didn’t know what to write, but I started anyway. Now, over a year later, I’ve posted 94 entries and 14 pages, equaling 108! If I divide that number into 383 days, I learn that I averaged a post every 3.5 days for just over a year. ADDITIONAL division (is that an oxymoron?) indicates I added about 9 entries month  to seasons. Now the question is this: Am I a bona fide blogger?

When I launched my blog on April 29, 2009, I read some data about how long the average person lasts before bailing out of the blogosphere. I can’t remember how long that definitive time is, but I think I’ve passed it. And I hope I’ve posted often enough to be considered a practicing, dedicated, determined blogger. Are there criteria out in the blog world that defines such web loggers? If so, are longevity and frequency of blogging the deciding factors, or are there more?

I remember one time I missed out on an award that co-bloggers (cobloggers? coggers?) bestow upon one another. In order to receive the recognition, the writer had to post quality and frequent entries. My new blogging friend sent me a message saying that she would have passed the honor onto me, but she didn’t think I posted often enough. I was okay with that because she posted often and surpassed my efforts. Her message actually inspired me to write more because I WANT AN AWARD, dang it!!

Actually, I started writing more because I LOVE BLOGGING/WRITING/CREATING/COMMUNICATING/ REMEMBERING/REFLECTING/and LEARNING! To commemorate this blogging milestone – which is a little weird because this post doesn’t honor the year date or the 100th post or anything like that (I zipped right past both of those occasions! Duh!) – I think I should look back over the past 383 days and 108 posts to examine what I’ve discovered about blogging and about me.

  1. It is ridiculously hard to come up with a creative name for a blog. good times AND seasons is the latest in a long string of ideas. I started with the site’s address, The Sixth Season because I had turned 60 and saw each decade as a season of sorts, but then I was reminded that if that was the case I was actually embarking upon my 7th season. Duh! I’m still not satisfied with the good times … title, but I DO love the Ecclesiastes reference.
  2. Post titles are also hard to create, AND they are really important because a catchy title can attract readers AND might be enough to “get featured on ‘Freshly Pressed'”! I think one of my best post titles is “hair-i-tic” but it better fits one of my pages, and so now I have “hair-i-tic” and “hair-i-tic 2 ~ a PLEASANT hair-raising experience” – a not-so-great title.
  3. It is VERY difficult to create a unique blog that continually features unusual, entertaining posts. I tried to come up with something few, if any bloggers, had thought of. My first idea was Needing Naomi, a blog site dedicated to mothers-in-law because, like stepmothers, I think m-i-ls get a bad rap. But I couldn’t think of a way to sustain the idea without getting in trouble with my own daughters-in-law, and I do that enough without writing about it. Until some INCREDIMAZING idea hits me, I’ll stick with remembering, observing, and reflecting – boring, I know, but right now, it’s all I’ve got.
  4. It’s VERY hard to be creative, and when I try too hard it blows up in my face. When I first started my blogging avocation, I struggled with writing ideas, and thus came up with some very strange ones. Here are a couple:
    1. …  time to dislike … (a post about voles. Yes, v.o.l.e.s.)
    2. …a time to embrace – love in the spring … (a post about worms. Yes, w.o.r.m.s.)
  5. I’ve also learned that you can NEVER guess what will attract readers. The most popular entry I posted is “… a time to ramble …”. I’m not sure why 1,539 people have clicked on it. Could it be links to David Letterman and Sarah Palin? Or references to Troy Donahue and Sandra Dee? Or a silly discussion about old-fashioned slang terms or outdated hairstyles? Could I be riding on the popularity of Ann Cannon’s Deseret News column or her blog because I quoted her? Could it be the tags I listed? Not many visitors left comments, so I am really IN THE DARK!

Well, there SO many more things that I have learned – like how to use a camera so I can post pix on blogs – but the 2 BEST lessons I have learned are …

1.) there are an unbelievable number of good writers in BlogWorld! I am constantly impressed with the humorous, insightful, descriptive, and entertaining writing available in blogs throughout the world. And they are written by everyday people like me, but more talented. A-FREAKIN’-MAZING! My hats off to the multitudes of bloggers out there who light up this sometimes dismal world. I LOVE YOU GUYS!

2.) There are lots of terrific people I’ve met through words and photos posted on web logs. I feel a real kinship to several, and although I’ve never squeezed their hands in greeting or seen their flesh and bone bodies, I admire these people. They inspire me, impress me, entertain me, and make blogging more rewarding than I ever imagined. And whether or not I’m a bona fide blogger, I’ll keep on because it is a big part of my life now, as are the friends I’ve met via this unusual route.

Thank you so much!


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what I savored today

A week or so ago,  I stopped by Barnes and Noble to buy a gift for a colleague and friend who is a captive in HealthSouth Rehabilitation Center while she recuperates from injuries suffered in a terrible auto accident CAUSED BY A DISTRACTED DRIVER. (Renae, are you paying attention?)

Anyway, while browsing I found a journal of sorts that invites participants to record their way to finding their best selves – over a two-year period. (Sorry, but after all this time spent looking for that elusive person, I want it to happen NOW, not in 24 more months. I am running out of time!)

If you opened this thick hardbound book, you would find the same 6 questions, recorded in two different columns on each page. The idea is that you answer the questions in one column over the course of a year, and then write reflections about the same subjects in the second column the following year; hoping, I guess, that your responses will show growth.

A different set of questions are interjected quarterly – I can’t remember what those queries were, but here are the main six probes, along with my responses for Friday, May 14, 2010.

  1. What did I do today?

    1. Ventured off to work
    2. lost my wallet
    3. searched the car for my wallet
    4. searched Barnes & Noble, my office, and parking lot for my wallet
    5. found my wallet waiting for me at the receptionist’s desk because some wonderful, honest citizen discovered it on the pavement and turned it in, COMPLETE with my nearly-expired license, credit cards, discount cards, and $5 freakin’ dollars
  2. What did I feel today?
    1. like it’s time for someone to commit me to the care of an asylum for the incurably LOST – as in LOST phoneS, LOST glasses, LOST mind, LOST sanity!
  3. What was I grateful for today?
    1. The wonderful, honest, kind stranger who took pity on a lonely and shabby gray wallet with a dozen rectangles of plastic crammed into the front pocket – along with a McDonald’s receipt and that FIVE DOLLAR BILL
    2. and this cool picture I took of a goose, who recently returned from  southern somewhere. I actually snapped it a couple of weeks ago outside of SOUTH Towne Mall – yes, the mall; he was obviously waiting with the goslings while his wife shopped inside. Welcome back, Gander!
  4. What was my biggest challenge?
    1. 3 guesses!
  5. How will I overcome it?
    1. Other than the COMMIT RENAE idea, I have NO clue what to do with my OBLIVIOUSNESS. Any ideas? Please come forth!
  6. What did I savor?
    1. The pepperoni and mozzarella on adagio cheese pretzel celebration-of-finding-my-wallet sandwich! VERY satisfying AND soothing!

Now if I answer these questions EVERYDAY for 2 years, would I see progress towards becoming my best self, OR will it be a CRAZY, DIZZYING decent into TOTAL – versus partial – OBLIVION?????

(Want to get caught up on “what I read today?” Go HERE and scroll down to the May 14th section of the page. This book is so intriguing. I love the characters, especially the mom, and Roth’s chilly re-creation of history is fascinating. I think he really lived through this experience in an alternate universe!)