Writing My Life

Now and Then


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… the monkey bites again, part 2 …

If you read part 1 on this topic – which really isn’t about monkeys but about lying – you will know I suffered a truth-telling disorder when I was young. And while I work very hard to be completely honest now that I’ve reached the ripe old age of 62, I find that once in a while I slip into that bad habit.

The most recent blatant lie once again involved a monkey. This past June I was driving home from work, not feeling well at all. In fact, I had suffered through a lingering yuckiness for a couple of weeks. G.E. also felt under the weather with many of the same symptoms. (Perhaps this weakened physical state can justify my lapse into immoral turpitude.)

As I neared home, I received a call from my California son. (Or maybe I called him; I honestly can’t remember.) While talking to him, I also heard Arctic Circle calling me. It was screaming something like, “A chunky-MONKEY milk shake will really make you feel better. It’s waiting for you NOW.) With hardly a thought, I turned my P.T. Cruiser, aptly named Cream Puff, into the drive-through lane of this popular restaurant.

Remember, I am still chatting with my son Andy who is healthy, fit, and fine! As I draw closer to the intercom where patrons order their goodies, I heard myself saying, “I’m here at Arctic Circle to order Dad a chunky-MONKEY milkshake because he’s not feeling very well either.”

Andy replied, “Oh, that dad and his junk food! He’s just gotta have it, doesn’t he?”

“Uh, yeah, he does,” I answered, feeling the twinge of guilt and the revelation that this little deception would come back to haunt me.

Sure enough it did. A couple of weeks later when we visited our California kids, we were barely in the door when somehow or other the topic of milkshakes appeared out of nowhere. And wouldn’t you know, I was caught with my mouth on the straw. No babbling or rationalization could halt the accusations that pelted me.

All I could do is bow my head in shame and confess, adding that the chunky-MONKEY made me do it: the ice cream, the banana, the cashews, AND the bits of cookie dough. YUM! Who could blame me? …. well, I can think of a few. Sigh.


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… the monkey bites again, part 1 …

The biggest, blackest lie I remember telling was in second grade. One spring day Mrs. Quidor announced our class was going to organize a pet parade. While nearly all my friends cheered the news, I did not. I think I was the only child who had NO cat, dog, bunny, turtle, or fish to parade around the school.

It isn’t as if I had not owned a pet. Indeed I went through a slew of mammals, reptiles, and birds. Here’s a short history of what I remember:

  1. A puppy that was hit by a car – I swear I saw tiny angels carry away the body. (Mom doesn’t remember this dog – dead or alive.)
  2. A Pekingese named Nicky that my mom gave away because of too much barking and shedding.

  3. Apparently dyed chicks are still popular in IRAN!!!

    Dyed chicks. As in purple, blue, or pink. Seriously. Around Easter, retailers would give away little LIVE PeePs as part of some sort of promotion. I don’t know how many times we talked Mom and Dad into taking a couple home, but I doubt it was more than once after they found me rocking my colorful but DEAD new pet.

  4. Hand-painted turtles. I believe the shoe store that sold Buster Brown shoes gave away these amphibians around school-shopping season. They were creatively painted in a multitude of colors, but once again, they died almost before we could get them home. I understand it had something to do with paint softening the shells. I’ll bet money the bright colored designs were also applied with lead-based paint. WHAT WERE PEOPLE THINKING????

Rather than to admit that “I was BETWEEN pets,” I reported to Mrs. Quidor that I would bring MY PET MONKEY to the parade, and NO, it was NOT a stuffed monkey, but the real deal. (Please don’t ask why I came up with such an exotic lie. I don’t know. The closest thing I had to a monkey was indeed a stuffed one – Ms. Phoebe B. Beebe, live-in girlfriend to J.Fred Muggs; my sister owned the Freddy version. The two stuffed animals honored Dave Garroway’s guest and co-hosts on the Today Show. Of course, I didn’t know all that then. )

At any rate, I reported the daily shenanigans of the pet monkey to my teacher and classmates. For some reason, Mrs. Quidor sort of went along with the story, asking me questions in an attempt to either trip me up or to guilt me into truth-telling. But I was dedicated to the BIG LIE and continued on until the day AFTER a PTA meeting.

Surprised that Mom and Dad didn’t return and question me about the mysterious monkey that supposedly lived in our house, I thought I had pulled off the ruse, OR that Mrs. Q. decided NOT to throw me under the bus. But when I walked into the classroom that day, she immediately called me up to her desk to tell me that she had chatted with my folks.

“Renae, your mom and dad didn’t seem to know anything about a monkey,” she said.

Rather than fold, I just looked her in the eye, and with tears in mine, reported that my poor little pet had been hit by a car, and I no longer owned a monkey, and therefore, had NO pet to carry, lead, or drag through the pet parade.

I don’t remember her response. I just recall that I was awarded the honor of leading the parade wearing a majorette hat my mom made. Now, here is the irony of the whole incident: a stray puppy wandered onto the school grounds JUST IN TIME for the parade, and guess who got to carry him.

By all rights, this story of dishonest mischief should NOT have ended this way. But it did, and here is a newspaper clipping to prove it!


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“… about to take that trip again …”

I know what it’s like to write a hard book. Just remember–every book gets to a really hard part … .  Anne Dee and I are both in hard parts of our novels. So–keep in mind that every novel can get really, really crummy.

~ Carol Lynch Williams

I KNOW that I listed several reasons to abandon the novel I started, and some of those reasons were dang good, but then I commented on CLW’s “Danger! Danger!” post. The next thing I know she’s giving me good advice about writing “hard” books, and one line zaps me like a freakin’ cattle prod:

“This is the reason so many people have so many starts and so few finished books. Just a heads up … .”

So, for better or worse, I’m continuing on with this HARD write because IT’S MORE IMPORTANT THAT I FINISH IT THAN IF IT’S GOOD!

Does that make sense? I’m thinking it does, because if I don’t finish THIS one, I’m afraid I won’t finish any at all.

I’ve also decided to follow a plan – NOT an outline, but a P.L.A.N. to help work through the “hard”. Here are just a few steps:

  1. Write a synopsis of my WIP – a better one than the one I created at WIFYR. (You see, I misunderstood that assignment and wrote a “blurb” that a prospective author might write for an agent. DuH!)
  2. I already carry around a notebook where I record lots of random things, but now I’m going to dedicate a section to ideas I may discover while living my life that might just work in my “once and future novel.”
  3. Write biographies for my main characters and include the all-important “character arch.”
  4. Learn to write to a timetable – to write SOMETHING everyday – whether it is H.A.R.D. or not.
  5. Whistle, sing, or hum while I work; and this is one of the songs that I’ll whistle, sing, or hum:

Here I go again, I hear those trumpets blow again.

All aglow again , takin’ a chance on [you].

Here I slide again, about to take that ride again.

[Bleary-eyed] again, takin’ a chance on [you].


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… seagull makes guest-appearance on beach video …

I so enjoy listening to the pounding of the surf and watching those waves roll in, but most of all I love seeing these “boys of summer” run, jump, and dive into the icy water with abandon. So fun.

I don’t even mind the flashes of little beach-girls running back and forth in front of the camera. (The lazy camera-person refused to move from the beach chair for a better angle, and so it’s NOT really their fault.) But I would love this clip even more if I could drown out the videographer’s annoying snickers. It could be very therapeutic – almost like a trip to the spa. 😀

Oh, and one of my favorite snippets is the surprise entrance of a friendly but homely seagull. Hope you find this as entertaining as I do.


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Now what am I going to write?

Now for the bad news. While there are those who will tell you they simply start writing and keep going wherever the story takes them (Stephen King and James Clavell are just two), for us lesser mortals we need a bit more help.

~ Steve Manning

After having such a great day writing last Saturday, I was haunted about whether or not this is the novel I should be writing at this time. While trying to put a finger on the reasons I felt this way, I created a list of reasons this might be the case. I thought others may benefit from my experience, and soooooooo I created the following:

The Top 10 5 Signs You Shouldn’t Be Writing This Book

  1. You are not in the mood to write this happy/sad/inspiring/depressing novel. In my case, I have been writing a tragic story, but I’m wondering if I can really do this. Tragedies in my life are minimal – some wouldn’t even consider the dramas as tragic. I am basically a “good-mood” girl. Rarely am I grumpy, sad, or pessimistic. In fact, many think I am pretty funny, and so if you should write what you know, shouldn’t I really be writing something in the realm of good natured, optimistic happiness? But who wants to read that?
  2. You can’t find the forest for the trees. (Sorry about the cliche’.) Your mind is filled with dozens of details, but they don’t add up to the picture you imagine – or in this case, the story you want to create. You love the details, but you get lost in them, and the next thing you’re asking is, “Now, what is the point?”
  3. The more you write, the more you don’t like the story, the characters, the setting, etc. While I love my character, she’s not moving in the direction I envision. Maybe that’s because I haven’t created character bios or developed the character’s arch. But I don’t know what a character’s arch is! I asked another novice writer to define that term for me via a blog comment, but she didn’t respond. So I’ll Google it, and figure it out, but I’m afraid after I go to all that trouble, I’ll still feel uncomfortable with this story.
  4. You find yourself thinking about another possible character/plot line/idea. While some writers are strong enough to put aside these invasions, others (like me) consider them as possible hints that you’re engaged to the wrong guy, or in this case, engaged in the wrong project. So rather than 2-time your significant other, you’re thinking of giving the “let’s just be friends” speech in hopes that later on you’ll pick up the relationship again. In the meantime, you can “play the field” by experimenting with other relationships/genres. (Okay, I think I’ve beaten this metaphor into the ground. Moving on.)
  5. You’d rather be blogging/napping/cleaning/shopping/fill in the blank __________________. While every writer gets distracted at times – at least that’s what I’ve been told – it is another thing to LOOK for distractions. This was a biggie. Even though ideas for this book swam around my brain before falling to sleep and throughout the day, I didn’t feel excited to sit down at the computer and weave them into the latest chapter. Instead, I decided I really better organize that closet or search for that missing tube of make-up. By the time I finished all the items on this “must-do” list, I had either forgotten about the inspired ideas I’d been mulling over OR convinced myself that they weren’t all that great in the first place.

I talked with Ann Cannon once after reading that she decided she needed to change the viewpoint of a book she was writing. I asked if she had done that, and she said no. I can’t remember why, but I do know she decided to abandon it – at least for the moment. I know that many writers abandon partial AND whole manuscripts, and so I don’t really feel too bad about dumping the 3 chapters I’ve written. But I sort of feel like the girl who breaks up with her boyfriend without having another possibility in sight, and she’s one of those chickies who HAS to have a guy in her life.

Oh well, I guess I’ll play around until something surprises me. In the meantime, I have 2 partial novels waiting in the wings until I make up my mind.
I would love to hear how others of you know you’re going down the wrong path or following the wrong plot line or spending too much time with a dead-end character. Please tell me your story! 😀


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… at the beach …

Okay, this is a first. I’ve upgraded my WordPress account so I can add videos I have taken. Now, a few disclaimers:

  1. I am a pathetic videographer – don’t worry about me leaving my day job for this field.
  2. There will be some herky-jerky motion, and so I suggest a dose of Dramamine before viewing the filmed clips.
  3. Turn down the volume to avoid hearing the twanging Gramma comments and ridiculous laughter.

On the up side, the subjects of the videos are adorable, AND the clips aren’t very long. Prepare to be UNDERwhelmed! 😀

  • Clip Number 1: Interview with Sunset Beachcomber, Miss Abigail.


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… our california kids …

G.E. and I had such a blast visiting our California kids during the 4th of July holiday. As always, we kept busy AND ate well! (Thanks, Lisa!)

I’m going to let the photos do the talking because they prove a picture is worth a 1000 words! So here is a slideshow worth about 42,000 WORDS!

ENJOY!

This slideshow requires JavaScript.


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And then I started writing!

If the ideas are flowing, stay put and get them down while you can. NEVER interrupt the flow of words.

~ Jennifer Stewart

Saturday morning.

C.r.a.w.l.e.d. outa bed at 9:00 A.M.

Brushed my teeth while perusing list of blog favs.

Sorted AND threw a batch of dirty clothes into the washer.

Cleaned myself up.

Took a phone call.

Peeled fresh peaches and topped my frosted mini wheats with them.

Looked for a book to read while eating breakfast; decided to just enjoy the food.

Answered the door to a borrower of a needed water jug.

Sat down at the computer.

Dialed up Pandora and my Michael Buble’ station.

Started WRITING!

1116 wonderful words added to the 701 words I wrote A MONTH AGO!

I don’t know if they are wonderful, but they are on my computer screen.

Safely saved.

Five more pages to equal 8 total.

I just typed away.

No revising or editing – well, maybe just a little, but not much.

The only thing/person to interrupt the flow of words was my husband who came in to cool off from working in the hot sun: mowing the lawn, weeding flowerbeds, etc. And to see how the wash was coming. He has this thing about clean clothes. But he also told me last night that he was going to ask me EVERY DAY how many pages I had written on my novel. Cute.

Got a long way to go, but hey, today I feel great!


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MUST … schedule … writing novel.

There’s nothing so stressful as not writing. Stop and think about it. If you don’t write, then you’re stressed about wanting to do it and not getting it done. But if you do write, you feel great.

~ Linda Jo Martin

While the debate continues over whether or not to outline the plot before writing that story or novel, scheduling time for putting words, pages, or chapters on paper is a MUST. Isn’t it? For me, IT IS.

Now, figure this one out. I can fit in updates for my 3 (yes, 3) blog sites, but why oh why do I have such a devil of a time fitting in novel writing? As always, I have theories:

  • Novel writing is sCaRY! I continually hold a “worthiness” discussion with myself: Is this story REALLY worth my blood, sweat, tears, and time? Is it worthy of publication? Is there a more worthwhile story I should work on right now? Blah. Blah. Blah.
  • I don’t know where this story is going. So maybe I should outline, create character sketches, etc. But that takes TIME, dang it! But maybe it would save me TIME in the long run. I DON’T KNOW!!!
  • The “novel” MOUNTAIN seems insurmountable. Blogging is like the little hike I took last spring while visiting my grandchildren who live in among the foot hills in Almaden Valley in California. I can do that – I have an idea for a blog entry. I take anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour to develop it, and then post it. Done. But writing a NOVEL is like tackling EVEREST! AhhhhHHHHHH.
  • I get caught up in “CROSS-TRAINING” – that’s what Ann Dee Ellis calls writing something OTHER than your novel. You know – get the juices flowing, and all that. Well, my blogging juices are jammin’, but that is NOT the real goal here, folks! I CANNOT spend all my time cross-training. I have GOT TO RUN THE GOSH DARN RACE. (Another AhhhHHHH.)

So what should I do? I know I am not the only writer – wannabe or otherwise – who struggles with this. (I just spent time researching the problem at hand and ran across a blog by  Carol Lynch Williams of The Chosen One fame. Carol has a C.O.N.T.R.A.C.T, a house devoid of children, and she’s suffering from AVOIDANCE issues!!!)

Even though I am an educator, I don’t get “summers off,” but I do have a couple of weeks I plan to dedicate to 2 things: 1) Spending time with my grandchildren, and 2) WRITING this blankity, blank novel. (I think that’s the proper priority, by the way.) While I am confident that the first goal will be achieved, that second one worries me.

What do YOU do, dear 5 or 6 readers, to get the job done? Help me out here! Okay? I’M STRESSING!


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… it’s a miracle or at least an amazing coincidence …

Last night – after chowing down on post-travel chips, dips, and Whoppers because there wasn’t any REAL food in the house that didn’t require cooking and stuff – I committed to eat only good-for-you food. So this morning, I crunched Grape-nuts smothered in Activia blueberry yogurt and then decided to chase it down with low sodium V-8 juice. (I only love V-8 IF it’s loaded with salt! But a commitment is a commitment! Right?)

Because the bottle was fresh from the pantry, thus warm, I filled my juice glass with ice cubes. When I poured in the V-8, my drink SMILED at me. SERIOUSLY. (See the picture below.)

I know this incident doesn’t equate with the potatoes that look likes Jesus, but the image of the Walmart smiley face did make me happy about this morning’s food choice! 😉

image